Everyday Ahimsa

Ok, I admit it.  I am struggling with getting up and doing some pranayama every day.  I love going to take class, or even do my own Dharma class in the apartment when I get a big chunk of time.  But I cannot seem to create the habit of waking up, sitting on my mat, and at least breathing for five minutes! I feel like a yoga bum, a sham.  I look at other yogis who wake up and meditate every morning, then make a green juice and eat a raw dinner with something like a mix of awe and jealousy.  Ah, so very un-yoga of me.

Early on in my quest I emailed my mentor Rebecca Kovacs for some advice. (Here's is some advice of my own to new Trainees- utilize your mentors! They have invaluable insight to this process as they have gone through it themselves.  They are so open and willing to to share their tips and their own struggles. )
Rebecca is an inspiring teacher and woman, and I always appreciated her honesty and humility.  She offered some words that have kept me from throwing in the towel on my pranayama and home practice. I think they are worth sharing here:

"Rule number one:  don't force or guilt yourself!!!
Everything happens in the right time and place so as long as you are AWARE (the key) then practice is happening whether it seems so, or not. You are watching yourself be busy and conscious of the feelings you are experiencing as a result. Keep watching. Keep being KIND to yourself. Ahimsa is the YAMA for which we strive as yogis. And it starts with self compassion."


And so I have resolved to continue to be compassionate to myself and push forward on my journey in other ways: eating vegetarian, shopping for local produce from farmers markets, being kind to everyone I meet, (TRYING) to maintain compassionate thoughts while riding the subway, and teaching Dharma yoga as an offering to my great teacher Sri Dharma Mittra and to all the students who walk into the door to a yoga class in hopes to find some peace.

Mostly, I am working to have compassion towards myself.  I know that a complete practice requires discipline, and that a period of transition takes TIME.  Each day is a new chance to lead a happier, more content life, and my baby steps involve the mind right now.  I am holding Sri Dharma's teachings in my heart as a reminder of what I learned during those amazingly transformative ten days in NYC at the Life of a Yogi Teacher Training, and trust that all else will come if my mind and spirit are in the right place.

For all other trainees who may feel similar, the Dharma Yoga community at large is waiting with open arms to talk with you and support you in your journey. All the teachers and trainees I have met and spoken to have given tons of information and are always open, patient and kind.  Do not be afraid to reach out, because even though yoga SEEMS solitary on your mat and in your mind, we are ALL connected.  The yoga community is there as a resource, and extended family.

And I will continue chipping away at building good yoga "habits".  Next stop- a Jack Lalane juicer!